...and celebrity bust ups, most notably the one with Brad Pitt just after his split with Aniston and before he got with Jolie. Once Brad left her and her career as Zelda was firmly over, Mary travelled the world in search of inner peace... and what she found changed her life forever.

Mary realised that she had this amazing ability to see into the future, not content with ruining hundreds of people's lives in Asia she now feels that the West is once again calling her back into its bossom. Here at the skunkhouse we're all chuffed to bits that she's joined the team here... and she promises not to kill us once she eventually takes over the world, no strings attached.

Each month Mystic Mary will delve into the far reaches of her mystic, ancient mind and reveal what that month has in store for paranoid stoners. So pull up a chair, burn a phatty and prepare to be AMAZED as Mystic Mary tells you exactly what's going to happen to unlucky stoners this month. If she tells you you're going to get run over by a bus the best thing you can do is shoot yourself in the head... which way would you rather go?

This month's unlucky star sign is Aquarius.

The influence of Saturn in their horoscope adds stability and coolness whereas in contrast the planet Uranus makes them do silly things that sometimes ends up in them losing their freedom. This unusual symbiosis means that Aquarians are often laughed at, quirky and sometimes downright insane!

AQUARIUS FEBRUARY HORROR-SCOPE
You Aquarians really are irritating people and have a habit of rubbing people up the wrong way, this month there are going to be plenty of whispers behind your back as people consider whether or not to just give you a smack. The money that you stole from work has been marked and they are on to you, save some money for a short jail term.

AQUARIUS LOVE STARS ZODIAC FORECAST
Sucking off your boss may rescue you from the jail sentence, unfortunately your boss is gay so female Aquarians are left with the only option of killing their boss or going to jail. For male Aquarians with accepted advances there is an opportunnity for marriage and a way out of a life of servitude and drudgery with your sugar daddy and into a new life of... servitude and drudgery.

And so it will pass...

DISCLAIMER: We cannot accept responsibility for fortunes that do not come to pass. For example if Mary predicts that you will get run over by a large vehicle but you instead shoot yourself in the head then we cannot accept liability. Mary can only predict what will happen if you don't shoot yourself in the head... unless she actually tells you you're going to get shot in the head, but then that counts as a fortune read correctly. We also have 10 thousand pages of mumbo jumbo to back us up in court should anyone try anything silly. Don't, you will lose.

Comments (5)

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written by admin, February 10, 2010

What are the Terrahawks? British?

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written by NewSkool, February 10, 2010

it's not so funny if you've never seen nor heard of terrahawks. I watched it as a kid and Zelda was pretty scary. I always thought it was a US tv show, we used to get a lot of those in the 80's. It's not going to be as funny as it should be now to most of the members from skool.

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written by NewSkool, February 10, 2010

the terrahawks was a puppet show like thunderbirds.

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written by DragonFly, February 10, 2010

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written by Kneel Diamond, February 11, 2010

Oh I didn't watch much TV, not even as a kid.

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